Thanksgiving

I feel good today, not sad, but free. It is the first time in a long time I see an open door in my life. A door that puts me in a place of peace. It's odd, this journey we call life. I wonder how we get so mixed up, so entangled in the maze, where getting out feels virtually impossible. Two days ago my roommate said she was thankful for hope and I wondered how long it would be until I could honestly say that again. Today I am thankful for hope. Thankful for peace and healing. When I first arrived home from NYC last summer, I was a mess. I was not mentally ready to take on my Canadian journey. I was not ready to let go of my American dream, that I had been living. Today I was listening to a song called Almost Lover, by A Fine Frenzy. I used to think this song was a tragedy...It used to make me sad. Today I listened to it differently. Today I saw hope in it. In the summer NYC was my lover, and today I let it go. I have not relieved the dream, but the pressure, and the intense pitiful pining, that stopped me from living well. Today I really see where I need to be, what I need to do. Today, is the first step towards falling in love with Canada, making Canada my lover. And America is a place I learned from, a place that brought me forward. And who knows maybe I'll live there again one day, maybe I won't. But isn't possibility, a beautiful part of life.